Love Languages

It’s nearly Valentine’s Day, and so we thought it would be the perfect time to conduct a little investigation into the UK’s top ‘Love Language’, the term used to describe the ways in which romantic partners express and experience love.

A study of 2,000 adults found that writing cards, doing the washing up and taking the bins out are the top ways the UK likes to demonstrate love. ‘I love you’, ‘I can’t imagine life without you’ and ‘you mean the world to me’ were cited as the most common phrases used in a relationship. And, of course, expressing love through written words was a winner with 73% considering a love note or card to be romantic!

We teamed up with dating expert, Hayley Quinn, to get some pro tips on how we can show we care. She says, “It’s important to see how your love language aligns with your partner’s because a lot of the time they will value different things to you. If you communicate love differently to your partner, it can be hard for them to understand how much you appreciate them. So, whilst you made the bed in the morning to show how much you care, they may connect more with a handwritten note.”

So, whether it’s Words of Affirmation, or Receiving Gifts that makes you or your partner feel loved and valued, below are some ideas on ways you can show you care…

TOP 10 WAYS TO SHOW YOU CARE, ACCORDING TO HAYLEY QUINN  

1. Cuddle them. Physical touch is the most common love language, but it can quickly fall by the wayside in longer-term relationships. Rather than focusing on physical intimacy, a morning cuddle in bed, or even a group hug with your children, will allow everyone to feel the love!
2. Write them a card. A traditional card can be low-cost but high-impact. Take the time to write an extended, thoughtful message to your loved one, or buy one with a message that expresses how you feel. Or if words aren’t your thing, draw an illustration or a funny cartoon inside to show you care. 
3. Say “I love you”. It’s not novel but it is clear! If you’ve been focusing your energy on DIY tasks, and your partner isn’t feeling the love, opt for verbal communication instead.
4. Make a surprise reservation. Instead of feeling fed up that your partner is a ‘go with the flow’ person, relish your role as the planner in the relationship and book a fun date night. Be creative: If quality time isn’t your partner’s love language this doesn’t have to be a traditional dinner date. Instead try an escape room, a round of mini golf or a night away, depending on what you think your partner would value.
5. Share a video diary. If you get in after a long day at work and know your partner will long be asleep, share a video diary of your day. This ‘behind the scenes’ look into your life is emotionally intimate and brilliant if you’re doing a long-distance relationship.
6. Spend time together… as a group! Whilst some people value 1-1 time, others will find it more rewarding to be part of a group. It’s okay to swap out the occasional date night for time spent with their family. For lots of people inviting you into their inner circle is how they will show they care.
7. Send them a song that made you think of them. If you’re not the best at telling someone how you feel, share a song that reminds you of them, and let the lyrics do the talking.
8. Cook their favourite meal. Romance doesn’t have to mean fine dining, taking the time to cook your loved one their favourite meal shows effort and thoughtfulness. Not all people thrive on verbal communication, and if that sounds like your partner, try this simple act of caring for them instead.
9. Turn your phones off together for the day. Leave your phones at home and spend some distraction-free time together. For lovers of quality time, the best gift you can give is to be present.
10. Send a picture of one of your early dates. At certain times in our lives, other priorities (work, kids, elderly parents) may come first before romance. Send a photo to your partner of the early days to remind them of your courtship and show that even now you still feel the same.

TOP 30 WAYS BRITS EXPRESS LOVE

1. Cooking dinner for them
2. Making food you know they’ll like
3. Complimenting how they look
4. Celebrating their small achievements
5. Saying you miss them
6. Putting them first in situations
7. Holding their hand in public
8. Completing tasks without my loved one asking
9. Doing the washing up
10. Helping them bring in the shopping
11. Leaving them the last snack
12. Offering to drive them places
13. Taking out the bins
14. Sending good morning texts
15. Buying them small silly things that remind me of them when I’m out
16. Making the bed
17. Writing letters or cards
18. Sending flowers
19. Planning spontaneous date nights/days out
20. Trying really hard with their family
21. Taking the time to get to know their friends
22. Letting them decide what to watch on Netflix
23. Completing DIY tasks for them
24. Sticking up for them even if they’re in the wrong
25. Giving massages
26. Getting rid of spiders and bugs
27. Pampering them after a long day at work
28. Fixing appliances
29. Sending video messages
30. Paying for their beauty maintenance (e.g. nails, trim, etc.)